Identity instability is pretty much my identity. I feel like I change a lot, but rapidly, and without warning, from one identity to the next. I'm never sure who I want to be that day. Now, you see, it's got so bad that I change my outfit maybe two to four times a day. On the one hand I love Japanese fashion and it's kind of nostalgic to me and I am a lover of nostalgia. So I kind of want to just dress like I dressed ten years ago - I want to wear fairy princess clothes (I hate the word 'costume' because I feel like I'm always/never in a 'costume' because I am a different character everyday) and floral print ditzy dresses and dungarees. And you know what, I do wear those clothes. I have a poofy tutu skirt and my pink dresses and a floral shirt and a pair of vintage purple dungarees. Now don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm transgressing back into childhood - that's not what nostalgia is about, it's about loving how you were then and wanting to appreciate something of how things once were. I just wear things to appreciate them, I guess. Style is everything I have identity-wise, I feel like I have a malleable character and change day to day. Everything affects me. This includes music and art and the internet and people, oh especially people, and medication I'm on.
Of my blog posts, I tend to have working titles and little structure, unlike my essays for University which are super structured. I want to have the title be something which indicates what the post is about, so you can read it easily if you're interested. But to be honest, I can never decide what my posts are actually about anymore. I think I'm just writing. And writing is a form of nostalgia to me. I used to write prolifically, and I guess I still do (essays, thoughts, journalling, texting, the occasional poem) and writing gives me time to reflect, and blogging lets me share this crazy reflection with you guys. I hope you've enjoyed this reflection, now let me share a few mementos with you:
Thanks for reading <3
God bless
Louise :)
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