Mini Life Update!

Evening all! I know I haven't blogged for ages, and I feel bad. I love blogging but I have to admit that I am terrible with maintaining any form of blog long term. I'm all over the place. So I think it will be sporadic posts until I'm on a bit more of an even keel. I really hope everyone is well.

To be honest things haven't been great with me for some time but are looking up now. I recently suffered a relapse and crisis with my personality disorder leading to an admission onto the psychiatric ward. But I'm feeling a lot better. Then some personal issues occurred and I'm desperately trying to get over them, but I know it'll take a lot of time. So I'm off to Cambridge to stay with a friend for a few days and then I'll be working in a little touristy craft shop in the summer holidays! Also university is over for the summer  so I'm back in Guernsey until September. I will be blogging more and I'm going to Paris also on holiday with the family.

If you'd like to keep in contact or have updates:

My twitter: @wowlouise
Instagram: @louiseyviv

(I update super regularly on instagram!)

So that's my mini update, I just can't seem to write properly. You're all awesome, thank you for following and taking time to read my blog <3

Louisey

I'm not who I was yesterday

Identity instability is pretty much my identity. I feel like I change a lot, but rapidly, and without warning, from one identity to the next. I'm never sure who I want to be that day. Now, you see, it's got so bad that I change my outfit maybe two to four times a day. On the one hand I love Japanese fashion and it's kind of nostalgic to me and I am a lover of nostalgia. So I kind of want to just dress like I dressed ten years ago - I want to wear fairy princess clothes (I hate the word 'costume' because I feel like I'm always/never in a 'costume' because I am a different character everyday) and floral print ditzy dresses and dungarees. And you know what, I do wear those clothes. I have a poofy tutu skirt and my pink dresses and a floral shirt and a pair of vintage purple dungarees. Now don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm transgressing back into childhood - that's not what nostalgia is about, it's about loving how you were then and wanting to appreciate something of how things once were. I just wear things to appreciate them, I guess. Style is everything I have identity-wise, I feel like I have a malleable character and change day to day. Everything affects me. This includes music and art and the internet and people, oh especially people, and medication I'm on.

Of my blog posts, I tend to have working titles and little structure, unlike my essays for University which are super structured. I want to have the title be something which indicates what the post is about, so you can read it easily if you're interested. But to be honest, I can never decide what my posts are actually about anymore. I think I'm just writing. And writing is a form of nostalgia to me. I used to write prolifically, and I guess I still do (essays, thoughts, journalling, texting, the occasional poem) and writing gives me time to reflect, and blogging lets me share this crazy reflection with you guys. I hope you've enjoyed this reflection, now let me share a few mementos with you:

Thanks for reading <3

God bless 

Louise :)

Personal Style... I'm Still Figuring It Out

I'm getting frustrated because I feel like I'm talking and no one is listening and I'm just existing in a space where so many other people are existing. Is anyone out there? Style are you out there? Maybe it's better I have no specific reader or audience and that I'm not a proper fashion blog. I don't want to be a brand and exist in the space between company and individual. I'm wanting to exist as a soul that cannot be contained and put in a little box. Of course, I speak about this crisis in terms of style. I'm comfortable in my friendships and academic life, but my style life is suffering.

The other day I watched a video on Youtube about personal style by Vogue and I realised that I have no style.  It made me feel sad, and disappointed with myself. I just wear clothes. And sometimes I feel uncomfortable, and can't wait to get home and change into my off-duty clothes (jeans, a shirt and trainers). Maybe my style are the clothes I feel comfortable in? But... They're not exciting or vibrant or unusual. So maybe I have no style. I'm a chameleon. That's it! I'm a chameleon. Each day I think about where I'm going, what I'm doing that day and select what I want to dress like - how do I feel? And I express how I feel on the outside, but unlike a chameleon I contrast my environment. Maybe I'm a inverted chameleon.

Alexa Chung and two other very stylish ladies were discussing what style was, and apparently (according to them) you can't be uncomfortable and stylish. And I agree, but I think that you can be uncomfortable at first when trying to find your style. I felt uncomfortable wearing lolita fashion at first, but I soon learnt to love it, and I used to really look forward to Saturdays when I could go out to town dolled up in Angelic Pretty and bows and pink.

I guess I'm, as Tavi Gevinson would say, still figuring it out. 

After all, I'm only nineteen and I have the rest of my life to figure out who I am and how I want to dress, so if you're in the same situation and having a bit of a meltdown like me, try not to worry. The night is young, we have plenty of time.

Aesthetics

Happy Friday! I enjoy outfits, don't get me wrong, but recently I've been more focussed on incorporating a favourite object or collection of objects or aesthetic. Some days I want to dress like a tortured artist, and others I want to be a Japanese doll princess. This day I wanted to be a photographer - a ginger-haired, monochrome, androgynous photographer. And I think that's what's important - dressing to be who you want to be. Not dressing to be like who you want to be. Once you're in the clothes you shouldn't feel like you're pretending. I like to think you are the aesthetic you desire for a day or so. I've been wearing my converse and lumberjack shirts and breton tees a lot these days, and using and playing with my Miranda camera. It's an SLR film camera and when I bought it, it contained a used film and I suddenly thought:

these are someone else's photos... OH MY GOSH WHAT IF THEY'RE NUDEY PIX?/??

but I shall trust they're scenery or an old couple or some innocent children.

I also realised something recently.... my writing on this blog is DULL... I just tell you what they photos are and update. I've been watching a lot of Tavi Gevinson interviews over the past couple of days and she really inspires me. I want to write about things people care about. And that is not necessarily my trip to the zoo, or what I liked this month. I'm just a bit stuck - I want to be new, I want to make things new with you (soko lyric, yes).

I will try to make my writing more interesting and if you lot have any suggestions for things you'd like to see I'd be very happy. Also I am banning myself from the exclamation mark - it's evil and I use it too much. I just don't need it.

God bless,

Louise

1-7.3.15 the marmalade cat photography

1. Feeling a little morose tonight.

2. 

3. + 4. Shoes

 5. snowdrops

6. costa swan

 8. new kanken

9. + 10. + 11. playing with light

Source of this photo: deletes

Good day everyone!

I'm very sorry for the lack of posts recently, I've been rather down and focussing a bit more on my new tumblr, and art journalling and taking polaroids and stuffff... I really hope you can forgive me. 

As you may notice, my blog also has a new name! The Marmalade Cat, as I just felt that my aesthetic didn't really fit 'Fashion Museum' anymore and I wanted to move slightly away from the fashion blog thing and become more arty and photographic! I am thinking of doing a post of all my polaroids, let me  know if you'd be interested in seeing that. 

In other news, I now have orange hair, a new blue jumper and my first record. I went charity shopping yesterday and spent a long while in Topshop too, just looking at all the gorgeous clothes my student bank account can't afford... *cries* 

So basically I'm not overly sure if they'll be a HUGE amount of fashion posts on this blog from hence forth but I'm sure they'll be a good few ootds and stuff. I want to be more like my tumblr and post my art and poetry. I hope that's okay with you. 

This was my photography of the week post! I hope you enjoyed~ 

God bless <3

Louisey 

www.tortoisefl0wer.tumblr.com

@wowlouise on twitter

louiseyviv on instagram

February Favourites

So it's nearly the end of February, the last day being today, and I can't wait for March and Spring - I love all the daffodils and crocuses flowering under the trees and the crisp mornings. I'm still getting used to being on camera so I'm a little awkward, but I mention some of my favourites from February.

Products mentioned which are available for purchase:

Naked Palette
Mac Blush in Fleur Power
Sure Maximum Strength deodorant 
Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf
Paperchase journal

Sayaka's Instagram:

mayugeeeee_55


I hope you enjoy the video and please subscribe!

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Thanks for reading!

God bless,

Louise <3

Crop it!

So, yes, all my hair is gone.... Well virtually all of it! But I love it. I came back to Guernsey for the week and got my hair cut at Envy, as recommended by a friend of my sister's. The stylist who cut my hair was trained at Sassoon in London and (I think) did a fabulous job. The cut is really chic and sharp and I just love how it looks. I took my inspiration from Audrey Tatou and Hepburn, and Parisian style in general. 

 Though this post is not about the outfit, I will inform you (whether you want to be or not!). My cardigan is from French Connection via charity shop, my jeans and t-shirt are from Dorothy Perkins and my brogues are vintage Dr Martens bought on depop.

It was actually a very difficult week at home, not only had I virtually no clothes as I only brought a few bits back, which was very distressing (hehe), but I felt really unwell in general. We had some old friends staying with us though, and that was lovely. I'm heading back to Chi today though and really looking forward to it! I hope everyone is well. What do you think of cropped hair cuts? Something you'd have a go with? Let me know!

Thanks for reading!

God bless,

Louise <3

you said you like freaky people, so I thought you might like me a little bit!

 Dearest readers, though there are few of you, I wanted to share my favourite corner of my University room with you! I hope you enjoy! I'm a fan of creative chaos, so this corner is rather messy, but a collection of my favourite things, including my January art journal, Naked palette, watering can from my old mental health nurse, Mayuge (by Sayaka) earwarmers and my acrylic paints . Here's an overview.

 Although it's pretty hidden there is a painting on the right, and it's inspired by my feelings for my mother with a photo of her sellotaped on, I like to display it discreetly. My watering can is the home for several make-up brushes, a pencil, a straw and a lid. Also I made the box they balance on myself, it's an old cider box covered in recycled (aka unwrapped presents) wrapping paper and magazine clippings.

 Lily (my future housemate) and I bought this instax in Brighton a few weekends ago and it's lovely, there's something magical and nostalgic about instant photographs. It's a little on the ugly side, but we love it!

 Alex bought me these beautiful tulips yesterday as an early Valentine's Day present! I was so excited when  I received them!!! I love flowers so much.

They're beautiful, then they die - like us.

 I also bought this Shock-headed Peter card in Brighton and I was beyond excited when  I found it in a little gift shop, as I love him - he inspired Tim Burton's character, Edward Scissorhands, and can be found in a German fairytale. I think I first heard about him in summer of 2013 when I was in hospital in Woking and my psychologist, who also loved Edward, told me about him, so I looked him up, and loved him ever since. I also love 'Der Daumenlutscher' as fair as German poetry goes!

 I so want to be the lady on this card! I love tattoos (I have 5 myself)! Pin ups are so glamorous <3

 A big chunk of rose quartz - apparently it gives you peace in relationships, which is exactly what I need (having trouble in interpersonal relationships, due to my BPD diagnosis). I find it looks lovely though, even if it doesn't actually have any peaceful influence.

 Two apple pictures: one in oil pastel and one in acrylic paint. I absolutely adore painting apples - they turn out so different everytime, even if it's the same apple (which this was). I rarely paint anything else!

 My everyday make-up - the Naked Palette by Urban Decay, which I love and use every single day I actually bother to put on my face. And Nars lip pencil in red square and Miss Sporty green mascara (I love coloured mascara), and of course MAC blush in fleur power!

Finally, here is my wall above my favourite corner - postcards and jewellery hung from a homemade storage solution by my father (he screwed eight hooks into a wooden hanger and I just hang my necklaces from them).

I've been having a very good week and I'm so excited for tomorrow - Alex and I are going to Wagamama for dinner! I've been loving Soko's album I thought I was an Alien too recently, so I thought I'd share that with you. She has the most magical voice and I love her lyrics - peaceful. I hope you've enjoyed this post, and see you soon, take care everyone!

Thanks for reading,

God bless,

Louise <3

64 Zoo Lane

Last weekend I had a brilliant time at Marwell Zoo near Winchester with my friend, Georgia, and boyfriend, Alex. It's not a typical trip for Alex and I to make, as there's not a zoo in Guernsey, although there used to be before our time! So here are some cute photos of our trip:

So this is how tall I am compared to a giraffe... aka very short!! I'm only 5 foot 1.5 though, so I already knew that! 

The cutest little Egyptian tortoise!

Giraffes have the longest eyelashes ever...

Finally here's an instax photo from the day taken at Georgia's house <3 #alexheartslouise

I hope you enjoyed this post! What did you get up to on the weekend? 

Let me know, and tweet me @wowlouise

God bless, 

Thanks for reading!

Louise <3 

Sunday Girl

Happy Sunday everyone! I hope everyone is well and enjoying their day, I know I certainly am. My Sunday is actually my busiest day - I get up at 8.30am to get to church for 10am and then Alex and I have lunch with a lovely couple called Bruce and Liz, who we met at one of our first times at church here in Chichester. After lunch we head back to campus, chill or do work (I write essays or blog like I am now and Alex practises his cello or guitar) and then later have a light tea before we head off to church again! Sundays are definitely my favourite day of the week!

Today I didn't go to church in the morning though - I went to a sewing group with my Japanese friend Sayaka, and did some crochet. Sayaka also gave me the most adorable present!!! 

She made these ear warmers by hand and even embroidered my name in the warmer for the right ear! They are lovely and look very cute on - I'm sure they'll feature in an outfit of the day very soon. She gave me a super cute card too!

I thought I would share with you an outfit from this week which I wore to lectures. The wig is Mintymix and beret is from JOY. I inherited the scarf from my grandmother, Joan, and the jacket is vintage Wrangler, but I bought it in a charity shop (£20 BARGAIN!)

I'm also wearing a vintage tartan dress from a charity shop and my red panda jumper, also purchased in a charity shop! Finally, the shoes are Nike and I love the combination of purple and turquoise!

I hope you like this post! Journalling is going well but I've been struggling a bit with my illness, if you'd like to hear more about my daily life, please follow me on Instagram:

louiseyviv

I post most days on Instagram and not all my outfits make it onto my blog so if you would like to see more fashion from me, please check it out! 

Thank you for reading, have a great day! 

God bless, 

Louise <3